Want to work for LaptopNoise.com? No, you don't. The boss is a jerk and the pay sucks.
Our mission is to provide the world with the highest quality noise. To continue to develop new and better kinds of noise through the use of cutting edge technologies and to provide availability of our noise on laptops and compact computers of the future. To make the world a better place through noise.
Laptop Noise - From there to here:
Making brutal noise on a laptop computer. This was not possible in the 1950's. Although the desire might have been there, the processing power that was required would have taken up an entire city block and then some! Try putting that on your lap. No, don't. It would instantly kill you as the weight of a city block's worth of tubes, switches, and wires crushed your body into a human pancake. So much for laptop noise in the "Elvis era".
By the 1970's, technological innovations had led to great advances in computer processing power. What took up an entire block was now about the size of a station wagon. Still, you'd need a forklift to hold up the mess of circuits over your lap, but at least you'd be making some noise. Besides not looking cool, it's also not too efficient, and therefore, we'd have to suffer through disco, and Kenny G before we could get to where we are today.
We know that everyone wants to turn their laptop into a brutal noise machine!
And who could blame them? Today's laptops (also called notebook computers) are small, efficient and powerful, with enough DSP to control the universe (unproven). They have built in speakers and can run for hours on batteries which makes them perfect for that "spontaneous" noise show.
And speaking of "spontaneous noise shows", here's a few ideas for places and times to use your laptop to turn the ordinary into exciting (*just make sure it's legal first):
- before your class starts (captive audience)
- at the mall
- on a street corner
- in a park
- Grandma's (she loves you even if you suck)
- join a "hippie" drum circle
- protest march
- on the subway
- in a taxi
These and many other noise making opportunities are available. So let's grab a laptop and make some noise!
In addition to noise, laptops are great for:
- designing a web site for your noise band
- emailing your peeps about your next show
- making a music video for your latest release
- creating flyers and posters for your band
- researching on the internet (for software to make laptop noise of course)
- making a laptop noise podcast.
The 93 year old Noise "legend" Ma Noise abuses laptops in her latest CD-R release!
Don't have time to create your own laptop noise? No problem, I've made some for you!
The noise ensemble created for Reaktor is ready to download free here....
From simple beginnings then growing into complex chaos. I'll show you the inner workings of an instrument created for the sole purpose of making noise.
contact: noise@laptopnoise.com
This website and its contents are
copyright © 2007 Michael Oster, all rights reserved.
F7 Sound and Vision
17732 Nathan's Drive
Tampa, FL 33647